The Duman and the Accomplice

While it snowed and sleeted during the night hours (ONLY 3 inches to report this morning and NO SCHOOL), Riley partook in a little midnight snack. I had picked up some tasty stocking stuffers yesterday.

That, well ok I will say it, DUMAN (ok happy family)! DUMAN is human with out the H and dog without the D, putting more emphasis on the human part than the dog part. Before going to bed this DUMAN must have made a mental note, that there were some goodies in mom's bag.

Duman (contemplating the plan): Hmmmmm I will go to bed with them, wait till everyone is sleeping then quietly tip toe down to the office. I will unzip the bag with the persistent effort of my canine paw and nose and then when I have it open, I imagine a bright light will shine from inside the bag and I will hear ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. There just has to be some amazing treats awaiting! I can smell them through the bag, through the plastic sack, and through the wrappers. I think it smells like hostess cupcakes, Hershey bars, starburst, and ho-hos but I won't know for sure until I get in. I can't wait!

10:30 PM: Dad asleep (snoring). Check. Mom asleep. Check. Kennedy asleep. Check. Madison asleep. Check, Check. Listen hear Max, one word out of your whiny mouth or if you dare wake them up I will chew you up and spit you out, you hear! Now come on, may be I could use your help, but don't think you are getting any of the goods. And stop purring so loud!

10:40 PM: Duman and accomplice race down the stairs and enter the office. Duman spies the large, shiny black tote bag on the floor next to the printer.

10:41 PM: Duman whispers there is it, now you secure the base of the bag while I begin to nudge the zipper with my paw. Pawing increases with intensity until a slight movement of the zipper is noted.

10:44 PM: Duman then begins to wedge her nose into the small opening, moving the zipper more and more to the right. Until the bright light shines brighter and brighter and the sound of angels singing ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Duman snaps at accomplice, 'quick shut that door, so no one sees the light and hears anything'. Accomplice complies.

10:45 PM. Duman has entered the bag and it is filled with more that she can imagine! WOW! Check it out Max, there is so much more than I had smelled! Cheese Danish (never had that before), Hostess Cupcakes (I have only licked an empty container, but boy they are good), Hershey bars (cool both cookies & cream AND plain chocolate! I love chocolate), Recess Fast Breaks (peanut butter!!!), Ho-Hos, a nutter bar, Starburst (crap double wrapped, those are tough)...Max we have struck gold!

10:46 PM: Duman carries the goods out to the living room where she can spread her treasure out! Look at it Max! This is going to be better than Easter and all those chocolate eggs with the tin foil that I ate. Man, dude that tin foil was a tough poop and you remember that BIG bag of skillets I ate after Kennedy's birthday last month, man I had a gut ache, my gut was hard as a rock. And puke, I must have tossed my cookies at least 5 times! It was a really ruff morning. But this Max, this is the bomb. With all this snow we are getting, you know Dad is going to be up early to snow blow the driveway and well, I will get to go outside and run around to burn off all these calories, then Madison will be up and want to play too and there is more caloric burn. So I'll dig in and sleep off the sugar rush, eat most of the wrappers, and who will ever know! Paper wrappers, easy poop, they slide right out!

10:47 PM: Duman starts in, accomplice attempts to get some, but is only greeted with a grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

11:10 PM. Max, come hear I need some help getting up these stairs. Why O why didn't you stop me at the Hershey bars? Man, I just went into zone and before I knew it, BAM, everything was gone. Hey man, thanks for your help, may be next time you can get in on a little of the loot. I sure didn't need ALL of it! You know, I hear them talking that I needed to beef up a a bit, I was starting to look a little too thin according to dad. OK..just a few more steps and one big jump on the bed and I can sleep off this rot gut, boy am I starting to get a sugar headache.

11:13 PM. Duman settles in for the night. Thanks again dude, hey do me a favor and pick up those last few wrappers I left laying on the floor, would ya. Then they won't know who did it. Thanks again buddy, your great. I won't give you so much crap next time you try to weasel in on some of the love action. Alright, gotta go, love ya..night....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The End