One Stitch At A Time

It has been an emotionally charged last few weeks. I have so much to share, but so little time or energy to do so. The days and weeks have consisted of house hunting, Realtor meetings, tears, serious conversations, frustration, all coupled with a magnitude of mental and emotional strain.

A few Sundays back trying to get ready for church proved to be a disaster. The tears would not stop flowing, making for a make-up disaster. Instead of church in a building I needed a place where nature and God met as one. I came down stairs and announced I was LEAVING! Shock and awe was apparent in those that witness my desperation, followed with the reaction 'are you coming back?' I fled to the peaceful surroundings of Palisades Park. The flowing water, hiking trails, and comfort of nature was what I needed to settle my struggling heart. Moving, downsizing, changing schools, new locations was just to much for my mind and heart to process. I needed time to think and pray. I laid staring at the beautiful blue sky. With desperation I proclaimed, 'I turn it all over to You. Give my heart and head the peace knowing that EVERYTHING will work out.'

Having already implemented many things to adjust to Milo losing his job, the last few weeks have brought even more of the realization of the finality of things to come. The HUGE step of faith moving to 100% commission status in our household. My analytical ways and years of managing the finances kicks in flipping on the panic mode switch and I wonder how will things all work out. Unfortunately many of the decisions we have made over the years not only have stemmed of my growing business, but also Milo's 'corporate income'.

Some days I yearn for the simplicity of a 500 square foot cabin in the woods where I have a garden, trails to walk, flowers to tend. The only major decision of the day being what to make my family for supper. There is no streams of media subconsciously training my thoughts to desire this and that. My BIG trip of the week is to the local food store to gather only what I need for the next week. I enjoy the quiet of nature while Riley is allowed to roam however far and wide she desires. We gather every night around the table to play games and share our adventures of the day. Do you think Carolyn Ingalls really had it that good?

Then reality sets in with dance recitals, friends, track meets, graduations, confirmations, weddings, college, mortgage payments, utilities, car repairs, and the list continues. O! did I mention dishwasher repairs! One night while enjoying a rainy evening on the couch, the water coming down seemed to get louder and louder, minute by minute! I discovered my dishwasher flooding my kitchen, pouring through the floor boards, into the basement ceiling, and onto the pool table. After every towel in the house was soaked and the appropriate water valve was located to turn off the water flow, I googled searched to diagnosis the problem as a defect 'water inlet valve'. 4 days later, the repairman was quite impressed with my savvy diagnosis. $107 later the saying, 'when it rains, it pours' is most definitely true.

So last weekend to 'escape' the world and celebrate our 19 year anniversary, my husband stole me away to my heaven on earth for a few days just him and I! I didn't realize just how bad we needed to get reacquainted. The every day 'stress' of life was pulling us farther and farther away as day in and day out we independently went about our way, each drowning from the emotional drain eating away inside.

And it WAS heaven on earth! 2 nights and 3 days of nothing but nature, long walks, warm fires, and waking to the birds chirping outside our window was exactly what we needed to reconnect and recommit to tackling the battle of life TOGETHER, a strand of 3 cords NOT easily broken, reaffirmed in cabin #3.

So the last few weeks have been a time to regroup and rethink. My summer project that has been filling my free time (instead of blogging) is a 12X16 complicated cross-stitch project of my friend, Jesus and His sheep. I have not cross stitched since BK (before kids). I forgot how peaceful and relaxing it can be. With each stitch I am comforted as I work on His hands, His robe, His face, and His feet. A calmness over takes me and the realization that life is simply one stitch at a time. God's plan is always PERFECT. No matter how much water runs through the cracks in the floor, a quick google search, a quick prayer, and a stitch at a time will bring the peace that passes all understanding. This thing we call LIFE is messy, complicated, and draining. But life is ONLY a journey to a place far better. A place with no paychecks, dishwashers, negativity and uncertainty.

A place with flowing water, flowering trees, warm fires, and singing birds. A place where the shepherd says, 'You were lost, but now you are found.'

So in the mean time I will continue to stitch and pray, stitch and pray. And when my project is complete, I will adorn it in a special place in my home as a reminder of a time in life when the ONLY thing left to do, was to take life one stitch at a time.

Jill

Music & Arts

With the end of the school year fast approaching comes extra evening activities, a band concert, an art show, girls chorus, and a surprise DUET! The art show is one of my FAVORITE events all school year. When the art pieces come home, I adorn them in my woman cave so the creativity that inspired them will in turn inspire me!

Third from the end. My favorite piece was the theme to Star Wars. My have they improved in just 3 short years.

Proudly displaying her masterpieces.










Of course a mom can NEVER have too many 'trinket bowls'.

AND finally enjoy a DUET, performed by M & M aka..Madison and Madison!

Well, I best send off and hit the shower. I have a color clinic to prep for in a few hours. Wash to do, groceries to fetch, flowers to plant, and scrapbooking to attend to. Madison is off at a sleep-over and has a babysitting job this afternoon. Kennedy hitched a ride with some CR track club friends to go to the meet that we 'thought was last weekend'. Milo had a previous obligation with his 'best friend' BOB (aka. motorcycle friend), that apparently lasts 'all day'. So we are all flying in different directions today only to reconnect later tonight.

toodles

Happy Birthday MOM!

My mom's birthday is today. Hmmmm...Where do I start? Now you know why by Mother's Day tribute was short, simple, and sweet.

This amazing woman is 62 years old today. I know she won't mind me sharing her age because she is delighted with where she is in her life. She has raised 4 children, 1 being special needs and continues to be an active grandma in the lives of her 6 grandchildren.

She is a breast cancer survivor, yet EVERY DAY battles the pain of a surgical complication that has plagued her since her mastectomy, 4 years ago. Despite her continuous discomfort, she refuses to allow it to stop her from living her life to it's fullest capacity.

My mom gives the BEST hugs! There is a warmness and gentleness about her that makes you want to stay in her arms forever. Nothing beats snuggling with my mom.

She is determined, creative, and persistant. She enjoys scrapbooking. Is a MEAN scrabble player and playing with her and my brainiac sister is like going to war having already been gunned down. She taught me everything I need to know about cooking and crafts. Except she can't take credit for my sewing talents. She would have rathered burned the sewing machine than used it. She loves to read and will never pass up an afternoon to assemble a puzzle. She loves to garden and tend to her 'wrangled looking' flowers. Rumor has it she is planning on taking flute lessons in the near future.

She serves on the board of directors for Village Northwest, a community within a community that serves the needs of disabled adults. Recently she became an ordained Stevens Minister and now visits those home bound to serve communion and lend a listening ear.

Nothing beats your mom. She is there to listen and offer advice. She encourages you and sometimes reminds you to 'put your big girl panties on'. She always loves you.

What really would the world be like without moms? Moms kiss your skinned knees and make sure you have your school supplies. They help you pick out just the right outfit for the special occassion and serve as your taxi driver for years. Moms gracefully push you out of the nest, while encouraging you in your life pusuits. They come and help when you have babies and they never stop worrying about you. There is just something special about a mom.

So in honor of her birthday being on the 14th, I asked her 14 interview questions. This is what I discovered or already knew!

1. What is something that people do in traffic that really bothers you? Exhibit road rage

2. What is something your parents used to say to you as a child that you promised yourself you'd never say, but now you do? When I was your age.......

3. What is something you should throw away, but just can't. I just did---my last bra--black! SIMPLIFY LIFE

4. Rate your dancing ability on a scale of 1 - 10 and explain why you gave yourself that rating. 8 I got rhythm---grew up in the 60's with good old rock and roll

5. What books have made a big impact on you? The Shack

6. What bores you? Hmmmmm--too much business talk!

7. What do you do when you want to relax? Read

8. What is your favorite season of the year and why? Easter because it is what my life is all about

9. What was your high and your low last week? Mother's Day talking to all of you-----being with a friend and realizing how much she is hurting

10. If you were given $100,000 to celebrate someone or something, who or what would you celebrate? I would ask each of my children what was their biggest concern at that moment and would try to help and then as a family we would give the rest away.

11. If you could be any age for the first of your life, what age would you choose and why? 62

12. What is the most important thing about you? I am at peace

13. If you could do something daring without fear, what would you do? parasail

14. What is the greatest memory of your life? A trip to Riudosa, N.M.

hmmmmm...wonder what happen in Riudos, NM?

Anyways....Happy Birthday MOM.

I love you!

Jill

It's Here! It's Here!

On Saturday we ventured to the music store to purchase a violin for Madison. We were told the ONLY one they had in stock was loaned out to a middle school. If it was not available on Monday, then they would order one, which would take approximately 2 weeks to arrive. Madison was devastated!

Upon hearing the news as tears begin welling up, she stated 'That's it! I am leaving!' and she stomped out of the store. I think we were both surprised yet, not by her reaction. We finished up getting the rest of our questions answered and on the way to the van, Milo said, 'How much do you want to bet she is crying?' Let's see, a 10 year old female who just had her dreams crushed and is now crying? Not a good gamble on my part.

For the next 10 minutes while cozied in the quarters of the van, we savored the uncontrollable crying of a 10 year old. The tears and dramatic body flailing movements were accompanied with 'You just don't understand, how much I wanted to get it TODAY!' The much anticipated dream of bringing home a violin was shattered within minutes and there was NO rationalizing with a distraught 10 year old. Nor was there any rationalizing with a 39 year old father trying to quiet his emotionally charged daughter. With every tear, every flailing body movement, and every 'you just don't understand' his emotions soared higher and higher. I dropped them both off at home, not even leaving the van and said, 'I am leaving to buy flowers. Madison go to your room. Milo leave her alone.' She stomped in the house. He threw up his hands. Both were on a course for diaster. I am sure in retrospect when she reads this she will laugh. And now that the emotions are removed it will be good time for retrospective parenting.

So late yesterday afternoon I received a call that it was IN! I immediately called Madison while in route to home and ask if she could spare a minute to go and pick up her violin?

She was waiting at the door when I pulled up. Kennedy decided she wanted to join in the fun as well as Milo. We all headed out and 15 minutes later pulled in with a NEW violin in tow.

Since then we have been enjoying the early stages of learning how to play. But this morning far off in the distance, I could distinguish the sounds of the ever so popular tune, Mary Had A Little Lamb.

Thank goodness it is finally HERE!

Mothers Day Weekend

Mothers Day Weekend is quickly drawing to a close. It was a BEAUTIFUL weekend for weather, family, and friends. Friday afternoon and evening brought a rush to wrap up all weekend related chores of housecleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping so we could simply enjoy relaxing with family and friends for the next few days.

Grandma, PaPa, and my sister Jennifer arrived around 10:00 pm on Friday night. We were already sacked out on the couch but managed to say hello and get them settled before calling it a night.

The alarm rang early on Saturday morning in preparation for a track meet in Lone Tree. Minutes before leaving I checked my email to find that it had been rescheduled for next weekend. WHEW!

It was 8:00 AM and everyone was showered and ready for the day! After homemade bran muffins and berry smoothies everyone shared the ONE thing they wanted to do that day.

Grandma wanted to get a tour of Cedar Memorial and go flower shopping.
I was encouraged to get out of my floral 'comfort box' and look for different foliage, textures, and new colors for my pots this year. I could not be convinced that sweet potato foliage wasn't a weed and that my pots needed a 'natural wrangled' look! I am VERY happy with my purple and white color theme using a splash of RED accent!

Jennifer wanted to get a few new pairs of shoes.
Two pairs of tennis shoes were purchased at Dicks.

Kennedy needed to look for a sundress and wanted to stop at Cold Stone Creamery to use a gift card.
Numerous dresses were tried on, but THE ONE was not found. Like it, Love it, Gotta have it! Well, we all did some damage at Cold Stone.

Madison wanted to go get a violin. Orchestra meeting was last week.
We are waiting on one to come in on Tuesday! New sounds will be filling our home shortly!

Mr. Milo wanted to pick up his souped up motorcycle.
Hence the previous post. After dumping his bike last summer, he was still sitting on an insurance check. He decided he could live with the few scratches and would rather have a wind shield, NEW PIPES (loud), and saddle bags. You would think he died and went to heaven! He LOVES that bike!

Papa was just along for the ride and I wanted to go on a picnic.

By 7:00 pm we had accomplished all of the above, including potting all of our floral purchases. The picnic got pushed to Sunday due warm sun, but chilly winds. After we grilled up some INCREDIBLE burgers (I have a new recipe for mixing in some might tasty healthy additions to your plain ole hamburger), Mr. Milo and PaPa met a few guys at Bill's Tap for a 'business meeting'. We girls popped some corn and cuddled up to watch 'Bride Wars'.

Sunday morning was spent leisurely lounging in bed, drinking coffee, and conversing until we headed out to church at 11:00. After sending our weekend guests off to their home destination, the fam and I headed out to Palasades Park for an afternoon in the sun. I LOVE Palasades Park! We met up with some friends and enjoyed a few hours soaking up the sun, with our feet tucked in the sand along the banks of the Cedar River. It was a great end to an awesome weekend.

So in 12 hours I will be at the gym, kicking off my Monday morning and week. I decided to delay the start of my work week until noon on Monday, plus the girls have a late school start. I was informed ONLY 19 days left of school!! Two music concerts, 2 track meets, 2 color clinics, and 2 graduations are on the docket for the week.

Enjoy a pictorial highlight from the weekend.

View all

Get your own

Lessons Learned from my MOM

Life is all about choices.

You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be sad.

It is OK to let your hair blow in the wind.

Don't forget to call the special people in your life, they worry about you.

Always give people a warm, engulfing hug.

It is ok to wear foliage in your hair.


Appreciate the little things in life, because it is the little things that mean a lot.

Happy Mothers Day

I love you MOM!

Happy Mother's Day!

Mom-Jill-Em

Wishing all three of you a VERY Happy Mother's Day! You are all terrific moms and deserve a special day!

Love ya,
julie

What is Wrong With This Picture?

Mr. Milo needing a LIFT to pick up his souped up BIKE!

You May Need A Kleenex

Everyone has a story.

I am watching the last 45 minutes of the movie, 'Stepmom'. I love this movie. If you stay with me until the end, watch out because there WILL be tears. It gets me every time.

So what is YOUR story? Over the past month I have taken on more responsibility at the funeral home and now assist with the after-care program. A program designed to visit families a month or two after losing a loved one.

Over the past 3 months, I have asked frequently why I ended up where I am. Then I remembered that, God takes me on detours. I think I have made it, but then He reminds me that I still have lessons to learn and character to build. The dreams and passions He has laid on my heart are not quite ready to blossom. I am still a work in progress. DARN, I think. Just when I thouht I had it all figured out. The road I will travel, the towns I will come upon, and the stops I will make. I had the master plan and it is was timed down to the tee. Then out of no where a detour sign sends me miles off of my map. I get frustrated with the time delay, the bumps in the road, and the extra gas. Enough all ready!

But suddenly and unexpectedly, something catches my eye. A flowering crab apple tree, off the beaten path trails, and I become completely enamoured with the new view. A view I would have never appreciated had the detour sign not directed me off my well thought out route.

About 10 - 12 times a week I have the privilege of hearing stories, lots and lots of beautiful stories. Stories of strong and courageous young men, precious babies, lovers, mothers, fathers, grandparents, and friends. Each one is special in it's own way. Each one is a treasure all it's own. Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry. I ALWAYS leave a better person. It matters not if the loved one was 1, 18, 49, or 96 the deep, raw pain is real for the one sharing. For a few hours every week, I listen to those 'left behind'. They courageously and sometimes tearfully share their story. They share stories of joy and times of sorrow. Often times they hang their head, with tears falling and say, 'I just miss them sooo much.' They allow me a glimpse into their life and the life of the one they lost.

So I wonder about this detour I am on? Was it because I wasn't fully appreciating all that I have. May be I am learning the God gave me two ears and one mouth for a reason. May be I am growing in compassion and servanthood. May be........

Wait..wait...the tears are coming. Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon are sitting in the restaurant. Susan says to Julia, 'I have their past and you have their future. There is no need for them to choose. They can have both.'

Death is going to happen to all of us. It is invidentable.

The last part of Stepmom is when Susan shares her Christmas gifts she made for her children. As they open the special gifts she sewed with love, each child has a touching moment when they try to comes to terms with the future. The conclusion is made that no matter what, even if we don't see someone, you always carry them in your heart. You can always take them along with you.

:: videos :: The ending to 'Stepmom'

So tonight, hug your babies just a little bit tighter. When you kiss your husband or wife, hold his or her face and look them in the eye. Tell them just how much you love them. Tell them how special they are in your life. Tell them how deeply you would miss them if they were gone. Call your mom, call your dad and your friends. Tell everyone just how incredibly special they are and what they mean to you. Tell them that no matter what happens in life, you will carry them with you, forever and ever....always and always.

And pay attention tomorrow, the next day, and the next, there are people around you who are deeply hurting. Many you don't even realize. Take a moment to sincerely seek and ask about them. Listen intently and don't be quick to offer a suggestion or advice. Just nod, smile, and may be share a tear. Remember EVERYONE has a story, they may just need someone to listen.

Junk Food Junkie!

I am Jill Japenga and I AM a Junk Food Junkie!

Carb loaded cakes, donuts, chocolate, cookies, bars, pies, and desserts.
That says it all!

There, I said it!

Kennedy had a trip to Des Moines all day Saturday. Her band played at Adventureland in the morning, then had the rest of the day to ride roller coasters and eat JUNK food. I am so jealous. I should have volunteered to chaperon. She was up at 5:30 and on the road by 6:30, home at 8:00.

Madison hung with me all day on Saturday! We snuggled on the couch until noon. Watched Disney Channel and played puzzle games on dad's lap top. We even had hot fudge sundaes in our PJs. Any time you have hot fudge sundaes at 10:30 in the morning, while on the couch watching cartoons, you just know it is going to be a great day. About 2:00 Madison headed out to play with a friend in the neighborhood, while I headed upstairs for a little nap. Must have been the sugar rush, I needed to sleep off! Mr. Milo got home around 4:00 after a day of chopping and hauling wood for the family. All that work meant a FREE 1/2 load of wood to get our family through the summer, bon fire months. Later that afternoon we headed to the health club for a swim (had to work off that hot fudge sundae) then home for a 'breakfast supper' before we all retired to the couch to catch a rerun of 'The Break Up'. Don't you LOVE pancakes for supper?

Sunday brought sleeping in, before we headed out to church and of course had to enjoy my Sunday morning DONUT and coffee. Sunday afternoon was the weekly grocery run , no junk food there and errands. While I was out and about, Madison and dad decided to go for a motorcycle ride, with a stop at the health club to swim before hitting Dairy Queen (darn how did I miss that one?) for an afternoon ice cream treat. Wrapped up the week's wash, then grilled some pork chops and egg plant parmesan (new receipe) while enjoying the rest of the afternoon lounging on the deck. Wasn't last week I talking about going organic? Actually I did great the entire week and have officially decided organic yogurt beats the other yogurt, HANDS DOWN! Just took a few days to adjust to the new taste.

But the BIG HIGHLIGHT of the weekend came in the form of a phone call. Madison got the call she has been waiting weeks & months for! A BABYSITTING JOB! Our next door neighbors called about 4:30 to see if she could babysit their two girls from 5:00 to 8:00. It was one of those moments that while she was calm and composed on the phone, then minute she hung up, we all started screaming and jumping around. She was grinning from ear to ear! She ran upstairs to grab her 'super sitter' bag and out the door she went. $15 dollars richer and her first job under her belt, that made her ENTIRE weekend! Her final words before heading to bed, 'Today was the BEST day EVER!'

WOW! I can't believe my youngest is BABYSITTING!

I am rested and ready for the week. Back to my healthy eating regimen! Got hit that 40 by 40 goal.

Exactly 7 days ago I was sitting on the phone with Arman from India trying to get my computer fixed. Other than trying to figure out how to get my i pods playlists back, I am officially back to 'normal'. Anybody know anything about ipod reloads?

A few track meets, work, and planning for company next weekend is on the docket for the week.

Darn...I still need to wash those windows! I pasted up a beautiful weekend full of sunshine for cuddling, hot fudge sundaes, and rest. Windows can wait, kids grow up way too fast!

FYI. Please add to my birthday list. http://www.h2oaudio.com/. Waterproof head phones and ipod case for swimming. hmmmmmm...Waterproof...that begins with W...for all you FREED family folks out there. O!YEAH..and a Patty Cakes Birthday Cake from Patty Cakes Bakery in Sanborn, Iowa! I DREAM about those cakes!

NO MORE STUFF

T

Today we had a final moving day. Kitchen set for the Villlage in their life skills kitchen, new bedroom set for Jen, 3 chairs to Betty Morfitt for reupholstering, bedroom set to Greg and Deb for Macin and Hayden, and 2 chairs and a bedroom set to Terry and Melody. Terry and Melody got a trailer which really helped. Four boxes of college history books and a reel of microfilm. That definitely dates us.

Dad and I are going to have a cool one---little aches and pains guess we are getting too old.

One more delivery to Jill and one more delivery to Em and Jason. Then NO MORE STUFF!

Love Mom

P.S. The house is virtually empty. Just old photos we have to sort through. Maybe some old style hostas, columbine, coral bells and pink sedum.