Last week I shared that we are doing a series in church on the life of Lazarus. This past week we focused on being in the tomb. The tomb representing a place where transformation takes place and often times NOT a popular nor FUN place to be.
The author, Stephen Smith writes, 'The tombs of our lives are spiritual assets. They help us to become more self-aware and more aware of our need for God. The tomb becomes a room of mirrors for us to see ourselves as we are. Spiritual transformations require a gut-level honesty about our fears, disappointments, disillusionment, and failures. If we don't speak of our tombs with each other and admit the truth of our bankrupt longings and desires, we remain in the dark; the light of each other's presence and companionship in the tomb can not be shared.'
At the start of this series I was asked to provide written material to be used at the services in the form of group prayers, statements of faith, or confessions. After reading and praying over the chapter on being trapped in the tomb, this is what was placed on my heart.
It was formatted to be a readers theater with four individuals. With lights down and spot lights on the readers this is how it read. As you read it today, may be you can relate to being in a tomb.
Wait, wait, please, please don’t shut the door! PLEASE!
Hello, is anyone there? Anyone? It is so dark and I feel so alone.
God are you there? PLEASE, if you are there, God, please listen!
Help me! I need your help. I am desperate and alone. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know where to turn. I have hit a dead end in my life. My life is not what I thought it would be.
God, I had these great dreams, these plans. I was going to have it all, I was going to be someone. I was going to make a difference in this world.
I have done everything I was suppose to do. I commit to all these activities, my job, my family, friends, my church. My days are full and I work hard God. I am exhausted at the end of the day. Isn’t that enough? I thought it was. That is what everyone said. That is what everyone else does.
They seem OK. So what is wrong with me? When I see them at work, at church, or even when I meet them for coffee, everyone says their fine, good, some even say they are great.
I say the same thing, it seems like that is what I am suppose to say.
But you know, sometimes I am not good and I am not just fine. I think I say it just to make myself feel better. But you know, no one ever really stops to find out more. To realize that past my smile, I am hurting. I am scared. That I have messed up God and I have messed up good. I am over whelmed. I just feel like I can never do enough or be enough.
God, I was going to be something GREAT. I was going to make a difference in this world. I was going to go places. Now look at me, I am in the dark. I am broken, alone, tired, and disappointed.
I thought I was doing what you wanted. I thought I was made for extraordinary things. But may be not?
What do I need to do? May be I need to change? Maybe I need to heal, to rest? May be I need to do more?
Are you there God? Are you listening?
I need YOU. I need help!
I witness my husband deep in a tomb right now, as he searches for light. As he cries out in the darkness for help. My heart hurts as he hurts. We find ourselves in many deep conversations lately, most of the time turning to our faith.
As he shared this morning, 'I just feel like I am bobbing in the middle of the ocean, crying out for help and He is just not responding. I know He is listening, He is just not saying anything.'
While frustration and unknowns surround us, I visited him today in his tomb. Through gut-level honesty and sharing I hope that I was able to show him that I can see a very small ray of light.
I said, 'Don't worry, I CAN see it. May be you can't right now, but I can.' I CAN see hope. I shared what lessons I have learned in the last month and a half, how faith has grown, how we are becoming a better family and a better couple because of this experience.
So today, I throw up prayers for Mr. Milo as he struggles in the darkness through his career path, his identity, and his health. Results from the MRI yesterday showed a herniated disc and a torn tendon in his right shoulder. One if not both I anticipate will require surgical intervention and before the group insurance benefits expire in July.
'Darkness reveals the richness of the life that only Jesus gives.'
I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. Isaiah 45:3
The lessons learned and the blessings ahead will be rich and full. I am certain without a doubt, just keep praying, sharing, and believing!
Blessings.
Jill
The author, Stephen Smith writes, 'The tombs of our lives are spiritual assets. They help us to become more self-aware and more aware of our need for God. The tomb becomes a room of mirrors for us to see ourselves as we are. Spiritual transformations require a gut-level honesty about our fears, disappointments, disillusionment, and failures. If we don't speak of our tombs with each other and admit the truth of our bankrupt longings and desires, we remain in the dark; the light of each other's presence and companionship in the tomb can not be shared.'
At the start of this series I was asked to provide written material to be used at the services in the form of group prayers, statements of faith, or confessions. After reading and praying over the chapter on being trapped in the tomb, this is what was placed on my heart.
It was formatted to be a readers theater with four individuals. With lights down and spot lights on the readers this is how it read. As you read it today, may be you can relate to being in a tomb.
Wait, wait, please, please don’t shut the door! PLEASE!
Hello, is anyone there? Anyone? It is so dark and I feel so alone.
God are you there? PLEASE, if you are there, God, please listen!
Help me! I need your help. I am desperate and alone. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know where to turn. I have hit a dead end in my life. My life is not what I thought it would be.
God, I had these great dreams, these plans. I was going to have it all, I was going to be someone. I was going to make a difference in this world.
I have done everything I was suppose to do. I commit to all these activities, my job, my family, friends, my church. My days are full and I work hard God. I am exhausted at the end of the day. Isn’t that enough? I thought it was. That is what everyone said. That is what everyone else does.
They seem OK. So what is wrong with me? When I see them at work, at church, or even when I meet them for coffee, everyone says their fine, good, some even say they are great.
I say the same thing, it seems like that is what I am suppose to say.
But you know, sometimes I am not good and I am not just fine. I think I say it just to make myself feel better. But you know, no one ever really stops to find out more. To realize that past my smile, I am hurting. I am scared. That I have messed up God and I have messed up good. I am over whelmed. I just feel like I can never do enough or be enough.
God, I was going to be something GREAT. I was going to make a difference in this world. I was going to go places. Now look at me, I am in the dark. I am broken, alone, tired, and disappointed.
I thought I was doing what you wanted. I thought I was made for extraordinary things. But may be not?
What do I need to do? May be I need to change? Maybe I need to heal, to rest? May be I need to do more?
Are you there God? Are you listening?
I need YOU. I need help!
I witness my husband deep in a tomb right now, as he searches for light. As he cries out in the darkness for help. My heart hurts as he hurts. We find ourselves in many deep conversations lately, most of the time turning to our faith.
As he shared this morning, 'I just feel like I am bobbing in the middle of the ocean, crying out for help and He is just not responding. I know He is listening, He is just not saying anything.'
While frustration and unknowns surround us, I visited him today in his tomb. Through gut-level honesty and sharing I hope that I was able to show him that I can see a very small ray of light.
I said, 'Don't worry, I CAN see it. May be you can't right now, but I can.' I CAN see hope. I shared what lessons I have learned in the last month and a half, how faith has grown, how we are becoming a better family and a better couple because of this experience.
So today, I throw up prayers for Mr. Milo as he struggles in the darkness through his career path, his identity, and his health. Results from the MRI yesterday showed a herniated disc and a torn tendon in his right shoulder. One if not both I anticipate will require surgical intervention and before the group insurance benefits expire in July.
'Darkness reveals the richness of the life that only Jesus gives.'
I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. Isaiah 45:3
The lessons learned and the blessings ahead will be rich and full. I am certain without a doubt, just keep praying, sharing, and believing!
Blessings.
Jill
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