A Notch on the Parent Resume

It comes only once a year. I have attended 9 in my life-time, with only one more left to log on my resume of parenthood, the annual elementary SOCK HOP! I will admit that the first few, I was eager to experience it with my 'FIRST' child. I even danced a bit, until I was told I looked stupid. After probably #3 the newness wore off and I came to the realization that I was only there to 'put my time in' as my children were running, dancing, consuming sugar, and socializing with their friends. My only purpose was to provide transportation, 'my mom is here' admission ticket, and $1.00 to purchase a large tube of colored sugar.

Imagine if you can, kindergarten through 5th grade with approximately 100 students per grade level, for a grand total of 600. With a rough estimation that around 200 are unable to attend due to prior commitments or parents able to weasle out, leaving us with the round number of 400.

Those 400 students are accompanied by younger siblings (not yet of school age) and parents.

Then take those 400 students and provide them with EXTRA LONG pixy sticks for the small PRICE of 50 cents each! Throw in some root beer floats, ring pops, and any other sugar loaded piece of candy invented. Add some glow necklaces (a nice touch), one semi-small elementary school gym, VERY LOUD music in the tune of Celebration, We Are Family, and The Locomotion, plus poodle skirts, cuffed jeans and white t-shirts. Provide limited seating for the parents that are mandated to attend, thus creating a 'standing room ONLY'. Prevent the parents from having any type of civil conversation because the only effective method is screaming to one another due to the LOUD music and the deafening screams of the children.

Enforce a 2 hour maximum time limit and what do you have?

AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SOCK HOP with

400 screaming, sugar laden children dancing and running back and forth between the dance floor and the concession stand. An equal amount of parents, most coming off of a 40+ hour work week lining the perimeter of an elementary school gym. Some leaning in close to catch a few words of a conversation, while others play with their cell phones or check their watch counting the minutes until the mayhem concludes.

On the resume of PARENTHOOD, one must log at least 6 SOCK HOPS in order to receive the SOCK HOP badge of honor!

Next year I will be attending my SOCK HOP graduation ceremony to receive my parental badge of honor for having logged 20 hours of sock hop fun.

This year I looked at Milo and said, 'Wanna do rock, paper, scissors?' Guess who won?