A Fresh Start

I have almost made it to Monday! Last Thursday night I wondered if it would be possible. A home filled someone coughing or sneezing at every turn, by Friday morning I had simply reached my limit! Kennedy over slept, which meant needing a ride to school. Madison was whining about breakfast, Milo was deep in lala land, and I was feeling completely overwhelmed. I was 1/2 way down the drive way, when I put the van in park and said to Kennedy, 'I just need you to stay home today. I just can't do this by myself.'

By 12:00 PM every bed sheet had been changed and the house cleaned from top to bottom. The goal was to disinfected everything, so when we arrived home late Saturday night with ailing symptoms nearly gone, we would be ready to tackle the next week with a fresh start.

Little did I know, exactly how great of a FRESH start that would be.

I will admit I was not looking forward to this weekend. Family dynamics, old sibling 'roles', and being reunited with 'family' not seen in 15+ years stirs up feelings and emotions one often wants to keep laid to rest. My final words before walking out the door Friday at noon were 'Let's get going, so we can get this over with!' Little did I know, all that I had been praying for in past months God was ready answer and work some incredible transformations in a short 48 hour period of time.

My grandmother came from a generation known as 'traditionalist'. A generation having survived the Great Depression. Her generation was rich in Swedish heritage. A group of people known for not easily expressing their feelings. A generation for some, that was quick to make sure all looked good on the outside, out of fear of what some would think if the inside was revealed. God stated in the Old Testament that the sins of our fore fathers would be carried down from generation to generation and my family is no different.

I recently have been doing a lot of reflecting on Lazarus's life as told in the book of John. When Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave he had been dead for 4 days. Wrapped in his grave clothes, his stench was offensive as he cautiously and carefully shuffled back into the land of the living. Jesus did not help Lazarus remove his grave clothes, instead he asked Mary and Martha, a task not very appealing.

I stated in an early post entitled 'Reader Discretion Advised' that we all carry a stench deep within our souls. It is the stench of our grave clothes, not wanting to be unwrapped that holds us back from experiencing a full life. Hurt feelings build up an infection in our heart. We wonder how to get rid of those past hurts and feelings that hold us back. Everyone wears grave clothes, some more than others, and no one can unwrap their own. When we begin to identify and share that stench with others, an understanding and improved communication happens, resulting in a growth of love and trust. That is when we can carefully and gently help each other remove the grave clothes that prevent us from living a life to it's fullest capactiy.

As a result of the ability to be vulnerable, exposing the nakedness of my soul a conversation was had into the wee hours of the morning on Saturday. A conversation that modeled a life-giving balance of both grace and truth. Stephen Smith in the Lazarus Life states, 'Too much grace might allow grave clothes to remain on too long. Too much truth can create even deeper wounds.' The conversation was one that bridged gaps and mis-understandings. A conversation of truth and love allowing the souls of myself and others to find compassion and a deeper connection.

I came home from our short visit to NW Iowa lighter and happier. I had left some grave clothes behind and had allowed others to help me remove them. A trip that I expected to take out of respect for my grandmother, resulted in a trip full of transformation, forgiveness, truth and love.

While the distant relationship I had with her will never be restored, the relationships left here on this earth took a giant leap forward. Although those relationships will continue to need mending, nurturing, and love, a new foundation as been laid on which they can grow.

I believe THIS was the best tribute I could have left to honor her.

Sin is the steadfast refusal to be your true self. As I mentioned earlier, the sins of our fore fathers would be passed down from generation to generation. Today I can confidently share that the cycle has been broken and it will only continue to improve with a continued balance of grace and truth. When we help each other get rid of the grave clothes that hold us back, there will be no end to the work we can do for God's kingdom in order to live a life of love and truth to it's richest capacity.

Here is to a FRESH start!